all i learned from this nudes leak debacle is that beyonce don’t fuck with jay-z like that nigga prolly in the cut waitin for pics and all he gettin is emojis
beyonce send that nigga polaroid nudes, in a case that only open wit his finger print, by pony express and that shit burst in to flames after 4 seconds like a snapchat.
F l a g r a n t.
ok but where in the entire series does it say hermione is not a black trans girl????? never. oops bye
Lets have a dystopian future movie where none of the actors are white
Not a single one
There’s just no white people and not a single character questions it
Watch how quickly people notice and get pissed off
but wouldn’t it be better to put one white extra in the far background of a huge crowd shot for a few frames, so we could point to them every time someone gets pissed off?
nothing pisses me off more than the fact that 90% of women’s jeans have non-functioning pockets but baby clothes have proper pockets? what are babies carrying around that i’m not? baby wallets? fuck off
Colorslash’s Tips for One Nights Stands on Grindr
So you’re trying to get into someone’s pants on Grindr, Jack’d, Craigslist, etc. You are open to the idea of a one night stand. You know it might not go anywhere. Pretend you’re trying to get into my pants. For whatever reason. Intentions undisclosed. That’s great. Here’s some great tips for picking me up:
1) I need to know what classes you’re taking. I have standards, even with hookups, and it fucking turns me on to know that I’m screwing an honors biochemistry master student with minors in neurology and mathematics. If you whisper Fourier transforms to me while I’m penetrating you I’ll give you a cookie after.
2) Ask for naked pics. I won’t give them to you, but it’ll boost my ego.
3) If you ask to penetrate me over Grindr then you better have a good VR device.
4) I want to know all about your favorite songs, books, and poems so that I can feel superior while I’m degrading you like the little bitch you are.
5) Compliment me using any words you like. It feeds my aforementioned enormous ego.
6) If I don’t say hi back, then I’m not going to say hi back, but you can keep messaging me because it also feeds my ego. Just make me feel like a pretty princess, k? Because I am.
7) If you are mildly unattractive/creepy then offering alcohol, cannabis, ecstasy, or pretty much any hallucinogen won’t help your case. I only do perfect 10s.
8) Don’t send your penis. I don’t care. I only want to see my own. Let’s be honest - it’s better anyway.
9) If I am leaving you hanging it is because I’m juggling several guys. Don’t worry, though - I’ll get around to screwing you eventually.
10) Stress the fuck out about everything. If you’re not incredible in bed I’ll kick you out.
So there’s your guide to landing yourself a one night stand!